The Social Media Trap — and Why Knowing Who You Are Brings So Much Peace

I don’t like social media.

Not the endless stream of opinions, not the chest-thumping, not the speed at which nonsense spreads.

Not the moment when I catch myself “just having a quick look” — and ten minutes later I’m scrolling through profiles of people with impressive jobs, perfect selfies, and brilliant careers.

And meanwhile I feel it gnawing at me: Why does this affect me at all?

How can an app on my phone briefly decide how I feel about my own life?

And then I look at my daughter — still a little girl — and I wonder: if I, as an adult woman, can sometimes sink into comparison and noise, what will one day come at her?

Maybe it’s because of that one scene from Wall-E that I can never get out of my head: people who live entirely through screens. Who see what’s “in” on those screens. One push of a button and their outfit changes color — without them even standing up.

Everyone moving in the same direction. Everyone equally empty.

The real problem is the one-dimensionality.

The filtered, polished, strategically curated version of life that somehow still manages to influence us.

But we are not one-dimensional.

We are complex. Messy. Contradictory. Human.

And here’s the funny part:

I’m pretty sure almost nobody in my network even knows that I’ve been living in Spain for three years.

No photo of suitcases at the airport.No sentimental farewell post.

I just… didn’t share it.

The car completely packed on the day we left.

How ironic that I now appear on social media as an Identity Coach.

But maybe that’s exactly the point.

Because here’s the core of it:

If you don’t know who you are, you start looking for confirmation in the most unstable place there is: social media.

Scrolling gives you a tiny shot of validation — or the exact opposite.

And if your identity isn’t firmly grounded, every like, opinion, promotion, or selfie from someone else pushes you a little further off balance.

Social media doesn’t fill the gaps.

It only magnifies them.

It shows you exactly where you doubt yourself.Where you compare yourself.Where you make yourself smaller.

What identity coaching actually does

Identity coaching is not about presenting a better version of yourself to the outside world.

It’s about stopping the effort of building an exterior that has nothing to do with who you really are inside.

It’s about:

• Knowing who you truly are.

• Understanding what actually matters to you.

• Knowing where your boundaries lie.

• Recognizing what is truly yours — and what you once started believing because others said it.

• And having the courage to use that as your starting point, instead of the algorithm or other people’s opinions.

Only then does social media stop being a measuring stick.

And simply becomes… a channel. A tool. Nothing more than that.

And then you can even laugh about the fact that nobody knows you’ve been living in Spain for three years. Because your identity no longer depends on it.

Would you like that kind of calm in your life too?

Then identity coaching might be exactly what you need.