The Next Status Symbol: What Do You Really Long For?
There was a time when I thought I knew what a successful life looked like.
University degree. Earning good money. A beautiful home in Amsterdam, with a great guy and a herringbone floor. A healthy child. Beautiful trips abroad.
Yes, I had made it.
And then?
On to the next status symbol.
A new motorbike. A VanMoof. A camper van.
What was I going to chase next?
We are very good at coming up with the next thing: a bigger house, a better job, more money, a sabbatical, the next car. Starting your own business.
And when we get there, we're happy.
Sometimes very happy.
But eventually, the new becomes normal.
As my down-to-earth grandmother used to say:
"Having the thing is the end of the fun.”
And the search begins again.
That made me look at status symbols differently.
They don't even have to be expensive.
Running a marathon.
A certain salary.
A fit body.
Being an entrepreneur.
Taking a sabbatical.
Living an adventurous life.
All of these things can tell a story about who we are:
Look at me. I've made it.
Look at me. I'm free.
Look at me. I'm successful.
Look at me. I dare.
We don't just collect things and experiences.
We collect evidence for the story we tell ourselves about who we are.
But then comes the more interesting question:
What do you actually expect it to give you?
What do you really long for?
Is it really about the car? Or is it about independence, status, belonging?
Is it about the camper van? Or is it about freedom?
Is it about the beautiful destination? Or about breathing room, escaping the pressure of everyday life, having time with the person you love?
Is it about the next career step? Or about recognition, influence, personal growth?
The means are rarely the whole story.
Behind them is often a desire that is much less tangible.
Peace. Freedom. Love. Recognition. Adventure. Meaning.
And maybe that's exactly why we keep searching for the next thing.
You can buy the means. You can plan the goal.
But how do you buy freedom? How do you plan for meaning?
That's why I think the question“What do you want?”,
only becomes really interesting when you follow it with:
“Why do you want this?”
Do you still have your real desire in sight?
Or have you become so focused on the means because they feel concrete and give you a sense of certainty?
Because isn't a status symbol only a status symbol as long as you don't have it yet?
Once you own it, it becomes ordinary.
And then you start looking for the next thing.
So perhaps the question isn't: What is the next thing I can achieve?
But: What do I actually desire?
And once I know that: Is that next status symbol going to give me that?
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